26 Reasons why Beer is Better than Woman

Finally............The Lik has come back to the special blog!

Looking at the title,I believe it seriously has attracted you,if not had already caused a frenzy among you and your friends.

Yes,this is the topic that I presented in PwC Toastmasters Club.Undoubtedly,I successfully completed the first assignment of my Humourous Speaking manual.Lots of thanks to the evaluator Victor Ong who is also the Area Governor for coming all the way just to evaluate me.My title has attracted many curious employees in PwC and they paid a visit just to see what I had in hands to entertain them.I did not disappoint them,but perhaps the title could have been more sensible.Grin!

That was due to the fact that it was impossible for me to finish sharing the 26 reasons in a short,terse 7 minutes speech.My rational behind it was I intended to grab attention from the very first moment,therefore an attractive title was very important.Maybe I could put "I choose Beer over Woman" or "Beer > Woman".

Well,I didn't actually craft the speech out properly,but the content was main as below.

"With a bottle of beer, the only problem that you are worried is hang over on the next day. After that, it’s gone and life goes on. On the other hand, problem with a woman, after 1 day still there. 3 days later, still there. 10 years later, it remains there. It never disappears!!! The conclusion is the problem with a lady lasts forever! This is the first reason why beer is better than woman!!!!!

Sniff….sniff……Complimenting the beauty of other girls in front of your own lady will bring you nothing but a life threatening stare from your lady. We know that woman is the only creature on earth that always has green eyes, which literally means Jealousy! Sniff sniff, such a weird and dodgy smell.

Here is my advice. Only plain women are always jealous of their men. Beautiful and confident women, especially those who join toastmasters never are because they are always so occupied with being jealous of other women’s husbands. Grin!

When I am drinking beer, I usually have a bottle of Heineken, and then another bottle of hoegardens. My beer never gets jealous of each other! Instead, they try their best to satisfy my insatiable appetite. On the other hand, when you go for clubbing, while dancing with a hot chick, you grab another even hotter chick and start dancing with her, your consequence will be a slap from both of them. Therefore, fellow toastmasters, the second reason would be a beer will never be jealous if you grab another beer, a lady SERIOUSLY will! You can have more than one beer in a night and you won’t be feeling guilty.

In a relationship, a man always dreams of dating or marrying his dream girl who of course is pretty, demure and give her 100% devotion towards him. In the midst of dating a girl, a man will give his pure love, pure dedication and not to forget pure money for his girlfriend, with the hope to marry her in the future. However, we are living in a reality world. There is no fairy tale relationship for anyone. What you dream of rarely comes true. Instead, it is the opposite who always visits you.

While dating a girl, you may be priceless in her eyes but the opposite is always true as well which is you are completely worthless to her the moment she dumps you for another man. This is indeed a heartbreaking story for a man and in this modern world, whenever anything happens, people go to facebook and change their status from “in a r/ship to being single”. And yet, you get a thousand likes from your friends and tons of shitty comments. That’s what normally happens to guys. Thus, you shouldn’t go for facebook.

Instead, you should go for your beer! Your beer will always be there for you, ready to cheer you up, ready to take away your sorrowful experience. The best thing about it is when you are done with your beer, at least the bottle still worth another 5 cents. When you are done with your woman, you are almost worthless!

It looks like the green/amber light is already on. OH no, we only manage to discuss about 3 reasons. What about the rest? Let me be honest, 26 this figure is an understatement. It should be at least 62, we can chat all night long about that.

The next time,maybe we can see a couple of ladies here ready to do a speech on 26 Reasons why Beer is NOT better than Woman.I can provide you with one of the great reasons.Peeling off the beer label every night isn't that funny after all.Peeling of the condom sounds better.Grin!

Thank You.

Actually,I can still go on with the reasons.For example,

beer is never late.

beer never makes noise.

when a beer goes flat,you toss it out.

beer is always wet.

beer is always stopping by,it doesnt stay there to nag and make complains.

Cheers!

Zheng Lik